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“In my line of work, I have come to expect the unexpected. I have seen things that would curl the common man’s hair. Call me old-fashioned if you must, but some things still surprise me. A giant five-headed robot hydra-thingie is one of those things.” Kate thinks as she dodges items being tossed at her as she fights the five-headed robot.

A few hours earlier. The law offices of Spencer Matthews. “... and what about your dad? I am sure I’m the last person he--OK. Call me later” Damon says into his cell phone. “Trouble with the In-laws?” Kate askes. Damon tells Kate “Not unless you count my boyfriend’s dad still referring to me as his son’s “good friend”.” Kate tells Damon she wishes she had a “good friend” and Damon tries to get Kate to meet Todd’s friend Al. Kate tells Damon that he might be almost blood related and Damon says that he is adorable, in which Kate says ew. Kate and Damon walk into the reception area of their office seeing some roses being delivered. “If Todd sent you ‘just-because-I-love-you’ flowers again this week, I may vomit. Repeatedly.” Kate tells Damon. The receptionist tells Kate that the flowers are for her and she picks up the card and begins to read it.

“You could make a hawk a dove, stop a war with love...” Just then Kate finds herself tied up and dressed like Wonder Woman. “Wh-where am I? Why am I dressed like - - Wonder Woman?” Kate thinks while she hears a crowd in a roman coliseum chant “To the loins with her! Show no Mercy!”. “Greetings, vanquished female. I, Emperor Psychoius Caesar, command you to submit!” Dr. Psycho says dressed up as a roman emperor. Kate thinks to herself “Doctor Psycho? I’ll never submit to his evil! Never!” while Dr. Psycho leans in and tells Kate that he can read minds and that perhaps a firm spanking will change her opinion.

“...spank me?” Kate says aloud while the receptionist and Damon look at her strangely. Kate tells them that she will be on her cell if they need her as she walks out of the office, throwing away the roses. Damon starts to go through the garbage to find the card, but finds out that Kate took it with her.

“I didn’t know they let four-eyed ‘tards go to school here. What’sa matter, ‘tards? You gonna cry? Don’t fog up your nerd-goggles! So, which one a’ you is gonna get it first?” a heavy-set bully tells two kids in the school yard. Ramsey comes up behind the bully and tells him to leave them alone. The bully turns around and pushes Ramsey down, then takes the glasses off the other two kids and breaks them. “You are a very, very bad guy!” Ramsey yells then punches the bully, sending him flying. The other kids gathered around and Ramsey all say the same thing. “Whoa.”

“...All the boys think la la la... Betty Davis eyes!” Cameron hears as she wakes up. “Oh, no. I’m going to kill him.” Cameron says as she gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom where Dylan is singing in the shower. “Dylan! Why didn’t you wake me up?” she yells at him. Dylan begins to explain why he didn’t when she gets a smirk on her face and turns on the water faucet at the sink, causing Dylan to scream. Cameron begins to think to herself, “Good, his roomie’s not up yet. God I haven’t done the ‘walk of shame’ since junior year. I am too old...” as she starts to walk away from Dylan’s bedroom, nearly knocking a vase off a shelf. “Oh, um, hi, Mark. I was just... Mark?” Cameron says looking up at him.

“Mark Shaw, you have been deemed worthy to join the cause.” Mark takes off the helmet of the suit of armor he is wearing. “”Cause”? Who are you people? How did I get here?” Mark asks the people in hooded robes. “We are your destiny, Mark Shaw.” “No! Get away from me! Stop!” Mark yells as he is grabbed and the figures start to rip off the armor and bring a hot iron up in the shape of the Dumas symbol to him. “And you--you are our vengeance!”

“Nnnooo!” Mark says in his trance. Cameron starts yelling at Mark to see if he could hear him as Dylan comes out of the bedroom. Cameron tells Dylan that Mark is in some kind of fit and Dylan walks up and slaps Mark in the face saying not again. “It happens every now and then. Slaps usually do the trick.” Dylan states to Cameron. Mark asks if he was out again and Dylan says yes, then Mark asks if they are a couple.

“I should be able to separate my emotions from this… But, if Kate Spencer is Al’s granddaughter, who’s grandma? I can’t imagine Al cheating on Mary. But, then again, my colleagues have been surprising me in all sorts of disappointing ways lately. Listen to me. I sound like a child whose parents are getting a divorce..” Pieter Cross thinks to himself as he works with Kate’s blood sample. “Doc! Hey, Doc, you possessed by the Ultra-Humanite or just ignoring me?” Wildcat asks as he walks in. Pieter tells Wildcat to give him a few minutes while he finishes up. Wildcat asks him what he doing, which he answers that he is bound by doctor-patient privilege. After Wildcat leaves, the computer states that the comparison has been completed. Viable genetic matches located: Two. “Two? My God..” Pieter thinks.

“...And you were in a Wonder Woman costume? Sounds pretty hot.” Dylan says to Kate. Kate tells Dylan that she will make sure to tell Cameron that he is into that, which he tries to play coy about his relationship. Kate tells Dylan to just scan the card, “I need to know if Psycho’s powers are dampened or if he’s been faking. Faking would be bad. For all of us.” As Dylan begins to scan one of his transformers blows up sending Dylan flying against a wall. Kate ducks behind a container hoping that it’s not another OMAC. “OK. It’s not an OMAC.”

“Thank you for responding so quickly, Agent Chase. LAPD appreciates the DEO’s help on this one.” a police Detective tells Cameron. Cameron states that serial murders are usually an FBI thing, in which the Detective asks about metahuman ones. The Detective tells Cameron that this is the third female victim in a month, then shows her the body. The dead girl has a cut at the base of the skull.

Kate starts to dodge some blasts and asks Dylan for some suggestions. Just then, the five-headed robot puts one of his heads into another power transformer and begins to form a human body saying “F-F-Free! We - - are”. “Are you effin’ kidding me?” Dylan says staring at the body that was just formed.

“I’ll run the wound photos against the DEO database and see if they match any loose villains. But, there are always new ones popping up like mushrooms in a cow pasture. This could be an entirely new psycho.” Cameron states to the Detective, then tells him that she will call him as soon as she hears anything. Just then Cameron gets a phone call on her cell, then begins to think that she will be killing Dylan. “I warned you about messing with my ringtone, didn’t--? Oh, hi, Terry. No, I haven’t talked to him. Come on! He’ll get over it. I have. Oh, he cheats on me and I’m the heartless bitch? Look, I’ve gotta run..” Cameron says into the phone until she hears behind her.. “Harlot.” Cameron drops her cell and starts to pull her gun and turn around telling the person that they are messing with the wrong lady, as her gun gets cut in half. “Fight all you want, harlot. None of you can escape the divine wrath of Sweeney Todd!” Sweeney states standing over Cameron.

“You cannot stop me! You cannot hurt me! I am Kil%re!!” The body of Ted Shoemaker says. Kate asks who that was, and Dylan states that he is one of the Flashes villains, a living computer program. “What about the chubby guy?” Kate says. “uh… Never seen him before.” Dylan answers. “Enough prattling! Kil%re will aahhh!” Kil%re states as Kate blasts him with her staff. Kate then blasts a water pipe that was over Kil%re, getting him wet. She then blasts the water sending an electric shot to Kil%re, separating Ted Shoemaker from Kil%re. The five-headed version then turns to Dylan stating, “Host body needed. Suitable temporary host: male - distance 2.5 meters.” “Me? You don’t want me! I smoke! A lot! And I eat horribly, too! Kate! Some help here!” Dylan yells. Kate turns and sees Kil%re still powering itself by a power transfer box and blasts it. “Power system failure! Failure! System powering down! Initiate memory save! Initiate memory--“ Kilg%re states before powering off. “Ohmigod. I think I peed a little.” Dylan says sitting against the wall.





Kate then leans against the wall and sits down saying...




...“God, I want a cigarette.”




To be continued

Characters:

Kate Spencer (Manhunter)
Damon Matthews
Ramsey Robinson
Cameron Chase
Dylan Battles
Mark Shaw

Dr. Psycho
Sweeney Todd
Kilg%re
Ted Shoemaker

Doctor Pieter Cross (Doctor Mid-Nite)
Ted Grant (Wildcat II)

Unnamed LAPD Detectives
Unnamed Receptionist
Unnamed school bully
Unnamed school kids


Notes:

The Wonder Woman scene was done in a 40's style artwork.

Issue summary written by: glguardian (Tad Dupre)